Show Notes
Proverbs 31:10-31
Pastor Christopher Chelpka
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Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Us steadfast in your word, that you would do your work in your church, in your bride, that we might be steadfast, that we might be comforted, that we might know our worth, that we might know the peace and joy and comfort we have in you, even in the midst of all the strife and sorrow that exists in our lives and.
[00:00:26] And in the church throughout the world.
[00:00:28] We thank you, Lord, for making us beautiful in Christ, and ask that you would continue to do that work this evening as we hear your word further. Read and preached. We pray this in Jesus name. Amen.
[00:00:44] You may be seated.
[00:00:55] Well, this morning I preached on 2nd Samuel 23, the first seven verses there, where we hear about the ideal or the future and final king, a prophecy of David by the Holy Spirit, in which we look forward to Jesus. And so I called my sermon this morning the Final King.
[00:01:21] Well, as I was thinking about what I would preach this evening, this passage came to mind, and I thought I'd have a corresponding sermon called the Final Queen.
[00:01:31] Because Even though Proverbs 31 is famously known as a list of duties for wives to fulfill, it's much more than that, and I hope to show that to you this evening.
[00:01:46] And of course, there are his duties here, wisdom not only to wives, but to husbands as well, but to kings, and teaches us about the final king to come and his bride, the church.
[00:02:01] So I look forward to thinking about this with you this evening. Proverbs 31.
[00:02:08] This comes in the context of this first first verse in Proverbs 31, verse 1. The words of King Lemuel, an oracle that his mother taught him.
[00:02:20] Then we come to verse 10.
[00:02:23] An excellent wife who can find she is far more precious than jewels.
[00:02:30] The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.
[00:02:35] She does him good and not harm all the days of her life.
[00:02:39] She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.
[00:02:43] She is like the ships of a merchant. She brings her food from afar.
[00:02:48] She rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.
[00:02:55] She considers a field and buys it with the fruit of her hands. She plants a vineyard.
[00:03:01] She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.
[00:03:06] She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
[00:03:10] Her lamp does not go out at night.
[00:03:13] She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.
[00:03:18] She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow. For her household, and for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
[00:03:33] She makes bed coverings for herself. Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.
[00:03:42] She makes linen garments and sells them. She delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.
[00:03:52] She opens her mouth with wisdom and teaches, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
[00:04:00] She looks well to the ways of her husband and does not eat the bread of idleness.
[00:04:04] Her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her.
[00:04:09] Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.
[00:04:14] Charm is deceitful, beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands and let her works praise her in the gates.
[00:04:27] Amen.
[00:04:34] Like all of Proverbs, it's a beautiful passage, one that has to be read carefully, right? It comes in a particular genre, particular form. It's definitely too crass of a thing to say. What I said a few minutes ago that it's a list of duties, right? There's something much deeper going on here, and you can tell that right away. Although there are duties and calls on here, for sure, it's a description, isn't it?
[00:05:03] It's a description of someone, and someone who, it turns out, is hard to find.
[00:05:08] Verse 10 begins this way, as Lemuel's mother says, an excellent wife who can find this proverb or these proverbs in this end of this book are remarkable in so many ways. One, it's the end, if you think about Proverbs, if you've read it, or if you know a little bit about it. It begins with these calls to wisdom, a call to appreciate it, to seek it, to desire it. More than gold, more than anything fine or expensive, to pursue it. There's all kinds of promises that the person who seeks these things will be blessed. The there's warnings against the person, the fool who says, I don't care about this, and this is not worth my time, and I'm going to go my own way.
[00:05:54] There's all kinds of particular problems with Proverbs, very specific applications to life.
[00:06:02] In a lot of ways, Proverbs teaches a kind of reality.
[00:06:06] This is our world. This is what life is like in the world that God has made. And these are the patterns that you can expect when you live your life in the fear of the Lord.
[00:06:19] And so as this builds and moves and moves in all kinds of directions, here it ends in Proverbs 31, with words from a mother to her Son, a king about his wife.
[00:06:33] Now, that kingly context is important and sometimes missed.
[00:06:38] Much of Proverbs is not just general Proverbs about life, although that is. And everything's applicable to us, but it has a particular flavor of being spoken by a father, and here a mother to their son, who is going to be a king, or who is a king, who is going to have responsibilities not just within his household, but within his nation, to be wise, to be just, to be holy, to be under the Lord, to rule not just smartly, but wisely, in accordance with all of these things that have been mentioned.
[00:07:21] Well, the instruction of this king or future king's parents comes from, as we said, both his mother and his father. And here his mother addresses this very particular important part of life. Who do you marry? Right. So she's giving him some really important advice, and important for a king, just as important for any man who is going to be married.
[00:07:49] The bride, the wife, is someone who has a huge influence on your life as a husband, a massive impact. And Proverbs points out, both for good and for ill, a bad wife is a bad thing. Proverbs tells us it can be difficult and make life really challenging. A good wife, though, as we see in Proverbs 31, brings all kinds of blessings and wonderful things.
[00:08:21] So most directly we have a message to a king about the kind of wife that he should find, but as it is recognized, is going to be difficult to find.
[00:08:35] Of course, a side message then is to those who might be wives. Right? If this is what a wise king, a wise man, is to look for, well, then, what does that mean for a woman who desires to be a wife? What does that mean? And what does that. Why make her life look like? These are natural questions to ask.
[00:08:58] And as we go through this, we see all kinds of great things. So let's take a look, just for a moment, and highlight some of the things that are mentioned. What are the kinds of things he ought to look for? What are the kinds of things that she might become?
[00:09:14] One of them is the direction of her work. In verse 12, she does him good and not harm all the days of. Of her life. And then it describes her work in verses 13 and the following few.
[00:09:30] She's working. She's working at home, she's working abroad. In verse 15, we see that she's working diligently rising while it is still night.
[00:09:42] She is using wisdom. We see her speaking with wisdom. Later here in verse 16, we see her doing a wise thing, considering making financial decisions. She considers A field makes a decision about it, decides whether it's wise or not. She buys it, as this particular story goes. She considers a field, she buys it. And then it just doesn't just sit there. It's not a waste. But with the fruit of her hands, she plants a vineyard.
[00:10:12] It talks about the way she is dressed and interestingly, doesn't really talk about her appearance very much.
[00:10:20] Not in terms of the normal ways we think about beauty.
[00:10:24] She dresses herself with strength. She makes her arms strong. We read in verse 17, verse 25, strength and dignity are her clothing. I love this line. And she laughs at the time to come.
[00:10:40] This is a lady who knows what's up.
[00:10:44] She's got her business down, and she looks to the future. She says, I don't care if it snows. We're going to be fine, right? She looks at the future towards hope. She has resilience because she knows she's put in the hard work. She knows she's done the right thing.
[00:11:02] We see her character not only in the strength of her work, but in the way she reacts to other people.
[00:11:09] In verse 26, we see her opening her mouth with wisdom and kindness on her tongue. In verse 20, we see her opening her hand to the poor and reaching her out, hands out to the needy as she does this work. It's not just about accumulating resources for herself and for her household.
[00:11:28] She gives as she has been given to given. She gives as she has received. There we go.
[00:11:35] And she reaches out and she gives to those who are in need.
[00:11:40] She.
[00:11:43] The result of these things are stability, protection, wealth and glory and honor to her husband. In verse 23, her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. That's not a random thing, right? It's there because of the things that she has done, right? Because she is the way she is.
[00:12:07] He is known when he goes to the gates. These places of judgment, these places of counsel and decision making. When he sits among the elders of the land, people know who he is. And it's a good thing.
[00:12:21] It talks in 24 more about her work and selling and making.
[00:12:26] And then we see some of this blessedness in 28. And following her, children rise up and call her blessed. And then, just as she blesses her husband, her husband blesses her. Her husband also, and he praises her.
[00:12:43] And then we get a quote. Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.
[00:12:51] And then Proverbs 30 and 31 of chapter 31 end this way.
[00:12:56] Charm is deceitful. And beauty is vain, right? Those things that we haven't really seen, what everybody talks about now, they come up and we are told that they are deceitful and vain.
[00:13:07] But here's what really matters. The woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
[00:13:13] Amen.
[00:13:16] Give her of the fruit of her hands and let her work. Praise her in the gates, let her be honored. Proverbs 31 ends, Let her be honored as she does these things, as she does these works, as she does them well.
[00:13:32] And so in this. It's inspiring, right? This is definitely.
[00:13:37] If you are a young man and you're thinking about what is the kind of wife that I hope to have someday, think about these things, study them, cherish them, see how they apply in the people that you know.
[00:13:53] And when you see them in your own mother, call her blessed.
[00:13:57] She deserves it.
[00:14:00] And of course, to women who would desire to be a wife, I don't need to tell you this. I know, like this is a classic passage to go to and to study and to think, well, how can I do these things? What does my life look like? To fear the Lord? To work hard, to bring honor to my husband, to care for my community and my household, all these kinds of things.
[00:14:25] And so all that's very good and important, and all these things are true.
[00:14:31] The problem we have, though, the complication, all this is that question. She starts with that question in verse 10, an excellent wife who can find.
[00:14:42] Now, of course, excellent wives exist. I know one and you know others.
[00:14:47] They exist and they are findable.
[00:14:51] But there's something about this that really kind of seems impossible.
[00:14:57] If you look and you read this and you think very practically how a person would do all of these things, and at this level, you quickly see that this is kind of impossible.
[00:15:13] Pick any single one of them, and perhaps the most important one, a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. And yes, many women fear the Lord. All Christian women fear the Lord.
[00:15:26] But who among us, man or woman, fears the Lord like we ought, in every way.
[00:15:32] None of us, male or female, we can look in the mirror and fall to our knees and say, lord, I do not do this.
[00:15:44] There are ways in which women, and of course men too, can be petty, difficult, lazy and slow, can be angry and frustrated, and all these kinds of things, even the best of wives, maybe we can find an excellent wife.
[00:16:11] But a perfect wife, no one's going to find.
[00:16:15] And that's true, because none of us are perfect.
[00:16:19] And that's really the heartthrob of all of proverbs not just this one. It describes this life that is just flowing with wisdom and perfection. And it's so good, it's so inspiring, it's so tasty. You just think, like, I would love to be this kind of person. And sometimes you meet people that just. They seem to won't be wise and you just want to be near them. You want to be close to that kind of righteousness, the way in which they move through their lives with. With generosity and discipline and openness and. And cunning and thoughtfulness.
[00:17:05] As she is given honor here. We give honor to people like that.
[00:17:10] But none of us match this perfect picture.
[00:17:18] So what do we do with that?
[00:17:20] What do we do when we're not wise, when we aren't excellent, when we don't do a good job?
[00:17:26] What do we do when all these things feel so weighty? What do we do when some of them feel just totally impossible and maybe are impossible?
[00:17:37] Well, one of the things that we usually do, which we shouldn't do, is just change in our minds what the standard is.
[00:17:45] Another thing we do is we excuse ourselves or we judge people. We judge ourselves by other people instead of by God's word. Well, I'm good. I'm not that good, but I'm better than her, better than him. Those kinds of things. That's not what we need to do here. What we need to do is think about Proverbs not only in terms of the reality it sets forth and the everyday practical wisdom it gives, but we also need to think about Proverbs in its canonical context.
[00:18:14] Proverbs is not just a bunch of practical advice for daily living.
[00:18:18] It's teaching the way of wisdom.
[00:18:22] The kind of life that men and women are to shine forth as the image of God and yet fail to do.
[00:18:32] It puts forth the standard of life and the way of life that we are all aspiring to. It puts forth the law in the form of wisdom that we do not meet but one who comes.
[00:18:48] A king that we spoke of this morning. A king that comes and is perfectly wise and is perfectly just.
[00:18:56] He does find an excellent wife, and he secures her love and he perfects her and he marries her and he loves her and makes her very lovely.
[00:19:10] That's the bigger context here.
[00:19:13] Jesus, we can say, fulfills the calling of the wisdom literature.
[00:19:18] Jesus fulfills the calling as the Wise One that all of this is pointing forward to. We saw a little bit of that this morning. We've seen it in other places.
[00:19:29] He fulfills the calling as the Wise One and not just in his own life, but also in his relationship to his bride.
[00:19:38] And who is his bride?
[00:19:41] It's us, His Church, the body of Christ, the city of God, the bride of Christ.
[00:19:49] He makes us into this woman.
[00:19:53] In our lives, we see the standard and we fall and we struggle and we sin, and we don't follow the Lord as wives, as husbands, as everything else.
[00:20:04] We have a desire to be wise and we have a desire to be righteous. Well, the Lord provides the path for that.
[00:20:10] He provides the way for that.
[00:20:14] And so as we think about this, let's think for a moment about what the Scriptures say first about Christ, and then about what he does for his bride, his excellent wife, which is you and me.
[00:20:33] First thing we might say is this whole thing about Christ, our wisdom. Is this legitimate? Yes, it's very legitimate. First of all, Christ is really wise, right? Go read the Gospels. He is smart, he is adaptable. He knows how to act in all kinds of difficult situations. He always does it under the perfect fear of the Lord, and he does it with perfect excellence.
[00:20:58] Anything, any way that you could describe true and perfect wisdom. Our Savior fulfills.
[00:21:05] Second, we have in Scripture a very clear, very clear expressions of this. So first Corinthians 1:24. Christ is called the wisdom of God.
[00:21:18] That's what he's called.
[00:21:21] In Matthew 12:42, he says, Someone greater than Solomon is here.
[00:21:28] And he was speaking of himself, Solomon, to whom many have attributed these proverbs. Solomon, who was known for being wise, not just in his decisions, but specifically praying for wisdom and receiving the gift of God for that particular thing, Solomon the wise. And Jesus says, someone greater than Solomon is here.
[00:21:54] He is the wisdom of God.
[00:21:58] Okay, so this is our Savior. This is our wise Savior. And what does he do? Turn to Ephesians 5 with me, will you?
[00:22:08] Here we have some more instructions to husbands and wives. But it is put in the context of what Christ does.
[00:22:19] So, Ephesians 5:25, a command to husbands, I want you to pay attention to what Jesus has done for us.
[00:22:39] Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, so that he might present the Church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing. That she might be holy and without blemish, beauty.
[00:23:09] And that blemish, that holiness is not just good looks. This is the holiness of righteousness.
[00:23:18] This is the holiness of wisdom.
[00:23:20] This is the holiness of a perfect union between the husband and the bride. A union of love, a union of purity.
[00:23:31] Jesus does this. How does he do it? He does it one by giving himself up for her. And we know where that happened. Didn't we happened on the cross, Even happened before the cross. We could say as he emptied himself of the glory that he has always been his.
[00:23:48] Not setting aside his divinity, but adding on humanity, becoming like us, flesh and blood. God in the flesh. He becomes man. He humbles himself, is obedient to death to save his bride. Obedient to death to make her, to turn her into. Into a Proverbs 31 woman.
[00:24:11] That's what he does for us.
[00:24:14] Turn to John 15:16.
[00:24:24] How do we become Jesus beautiful bride? How does the church and the body of Christ come to belong to him? John 15:16 tells us, you did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask in the Father, ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.
[00:24:57] So how do we become this, both as individuals and collectively together as his people?
[00:25:04] Because God chose us. And that word choosing is not like, you know, I put two hands behind my back. Pick one. It's a choice in love.
[00:25:14] It's a singling out.
[00:25:17] In Romans 8 Bible uses the word he foreknows, he chooses. He knows in this intimate term he says, you are mine. And now I'm going to appoint that you should go and and bear fruit. Which is exactly what the woman in Proverbs 31, this ideal wife does. She produces fruit in her vineyard. Verse 31 of 31 says, Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.
[00:25:49] John 16, that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.
[00:26:00] And while we're in John, you can turn over to John 6:39 and see that this work of choosing, this work of sanctifying, this work of fructifying, if we could use that word, the making of all of this fruit is not something that will be lost.
[00:26:19] We are secure in our Savior, in our husband, John 6:39. And this is the will of him who sent me, that I should lose nothing of all that he has given me, but raise it up on the last day.
[00:26:37] And that last day, of course, is described for us in that passage in part in Revelation 19, the marriage supper of the Lamb, the last day were the descriptions of the bride of Christ.
[00:26:50] The City of God are descriptions of her amazing beauty in visual stunning and in her holiness. And the glory that she has as the bride is compared to a city you remember on the streets of gold, great gates of pearl, and all of the jewels and stones, amethyst and other things marking her.
[00:27:19] And the descriptions of her glory far surpass what we see in Proverbs 31, right? This intensely beautiful city, this bride of the Lord.
[00:27:35] All this to say that the work of Jesus in saving us is a work in which he goes and chooses his bride, chooses his people, makes us who we need to be.
[00:27:49] Our work is not striving to become a really good wife or potential bride and then just hoping he notices us, hoping he marries us and then it'll be good.
[00:28:03] That's not how this works.
[00:28:05] He sees us in our filth. He sees us in our messed up families. He sees us in all of the.
[00:28:12] The despicable things we've done, the ways that we've fallen so far from wisdom.
[00:28:19] And he says, that one's mine and I will make her holy. I will make her beautiful.
[00:28:29] And he chooses us and he gathers us together.
[00:28:32] And that's why we can have the confidence that this lady in Proverbs 31 has when she says, we're going to be fine.
[00:28:41] The snow may come, the wind may fall, we're going to be fine.
[00:28:45] She laughs at the future because she's not afraid, just as we do not need to be afraid because our future hope is secured for us, of course, in Christ.
[00:29:01] And as the Lord does, does all of these things for us, of course he rejoices over us. This is what I'm going to end with this amazing thing. The Lord does all of these things.
[00:29:14] And then in Proverbs 31 we see that the King, as he appreciates a weak word there glories in would maybe be better, his excellent wife. He praises her right there at the end. Well, listen to what Jesus does for us.
[00:29:31] Isaiah 62.
[00:29:39] Five.
[00:29:45] Let's do a little more. Let's start at the beginning of the chapter, verse 62:1. For Zion's sake, I will not keep silent, and for Jerusalem's sake I will not be quiet until her righteousness goes forth as brightness and her salvation as a burning torch.
[00:30:01] The nations shall see your righteousness, and all the kings your glory, and you shall be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord will give.
[00:30:14] You know, sometimes when. Let me pause here at the end of verse 2 people have different experiences when they get married with their last name Women do different things. Sometimes their. Their maiden name, we call it, is very precious and important to them, and they want to continue that on, and they keep it in their name.
[00:30:35] Other women feel like they wouldn't, as fast as possible to drop that old heritage, that old life, that old family.
[00:30:46] That's the one that we identify more with when it comes to being the bride of Christ.
[00:30:53] We do not have a good family name.
[00:30:56] And Jesus comes and he says, I'm going to give you a new name. The mouth that the Lord will give.
[00:31:03] I will write my name on your hearts. He rescues us out of, as we read this morning, out of a dominion of darkness, out of a family of wretchedness, out of sin and misery. And he brings us into glory, and he gives us his name.
[00:31:18] Hallelujah.
[00:31:19] Praise God.
[00:31:21] So that's verse two. And then he says, you shall be.
[00:31:24] Remember, this is all Jesus rejoicing over his bride. Right? You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord and a royal diadem in the hand of your God. You shall no more be termed forsaken, and your land shall no more be termed desolate, but you shall be called. My delight is in her and your land married.
[00:31:49] For the Lord delights in you. And your land shall be married. For as a young man marries a young woman, so shall your sons marry you. And as a bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you.
[00:32:05] Let me give you one more.
[00:32:07] Zephaniah 3, 17.
[00:32:10] The Lord God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save.
[00:32:14] He will rejoice over you with gladness. He will quiet you by his love.
[00:32:20] He will exult over you with loud singing.
[00:32:26] God singing because of you.
[00:32:31] God singing. And not just like whistling a tune.
[00:32:36] Exalting is the word that's used here. God exalting, his heart filled with joy. If we can express it in the way that the Scriptures are expressing it here, his heart filled with joy over his people, over his bride, that he has redeemed and saved.
[00:32:58] So on an earthly level, and under the law of God, an excellent wife who can find, you know, not me, obviously not you too, right? But in Christ it's a different story, brothers and sisters.
[00:33:15] An excellent wife who can find me.
[00:33:20] You.
[00:33:21] Why not? Because we finally learned whatever you're supposed to do with flax, I don't know.
[00:33:28] But because Christ has made us beautiful, Christ has made us holy and righteous. Christ has taken away every spot and wrinkle. He has removed every impurity and even Though the world persecutes the Church, even though the world hates the Church and Satan comes against the Church, it doesn't matter.
[00:33:55] Because the Lord is our Lord and he is raising us up and will raise us up on that last day as the new Jerusalem. And he will say to us, you surpass them all.
[00:34:11] And will rejoice over us with singing.
[00:34:16] Let's pray.
[00:34:18] Our Heavenly Father, thank you for loving us.
[00:34:23] Thank you for dying for us, for sending your son to die for us. That we might be saved, and not merely saved so that we can go live our lives freely, but so that we can belong to you. So that we can love you. So that we can be united to you and be held by you and have your name on our hearts and in our lives.
[00:34:46] So that we could be called Christians.
[00:34:51] What a joy it is to bear your name. What a joy it is to be baptized into your name.
[00:34:59] What a joy it is to have the work of your spirit in us and the hope of heaven before us that we need not be afraid in the confidence of these things. Lord, help us to live our everyday lives as husbands and and fathers, as mothers, as wives, as children too, as single people.
[00:35:22] Lord, in all of the different stations and callings of our lives, we want to be righteous.
[00:35:28] We want to do lovely things.
[00:35:32] We want to do them in your name.
[00:35:35] And so we ask that by the power of your spirit you would wash us clean and you would empower us for. For good works. That you would make our our hands and our lives fruitful, that you might be praised.
[00:35:50] And we pray this in Jesus name, Amen.
