What Does Submission Look Like?

WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.960 Now Do Ephesians chapter five. We're going to pick up the same passage that 2 00:00:04.040 --> 00:00:09.230 I preached on last time, but now think of it from a from a 3 00:00:09.269 --> 00:00:15.470 different angle, and this is Ephesians Five, versus twenty two through twenty four. 4 00:00:17.910 --> 00:00:21.579 These begin a set of instructions that God gives to us on how we 5 00:00:21.699 --> 00:00:27.260 ought to live out our relationships within the home, in particular, on God 6 00:00:27.379 --> 00:00:33.899 is giving in instructions to wives. So let's hear God's word. I'm Ephesians 7 00:00:33.939 --> 00:00:41.329 Chapter Five, Verses Twenty Two through twenty four. Wives submit to your own 8 00:00:41.369 --> 00:00:46.409 husband's as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, 9 00:00:46.450 --> 00:00:50.920 even as Christ as the head of the church, his body and is 10 00:00:50.960 --> 00:00:57.399 himself at Savior now is the Church submits to Christ. So also wives should 11 00:00:57.399 --> 00:01:02.640 submit in everything to their husband's We god, bless his word to us, 12 00:01:03.320 --> 00:01:22.340 may be seated well. The last time we considered this passage, I asked 13 00:01:22.420 --> 00:01:26.739 this question to you. They answer was no. But the question was, 14 00:01:27.579 --> 00:01:34.129 should we as Christians be embarrassed or afraid of this passage? And, as 15 00:01:34.170 --> 00:01:36.890 I say, they answer was no, and we took some time to to 16 00:01:38.890 --> 00:01:42.689 think about why that is and to clear away some very real objections and fear 17 00:01:42.890 --> 00:01:49.319 people have about God's instructions that are given here. If you didn't get a 18 00:01:49.359 --> 00:01:53.159 chance to listen to that sermon, I would encourage the you that you do 19 00:01:53.359 --> 00:01:57.359 so. It's available online. I'm today, however, we're not going to 20 00:01:57.480 --> 00:02:01.870 repeat, repeat that or do that again, but to think from a positive 21 00:02:01.909 --> 00:02:08.750 sense. What does this passage mean and what ways are are we to understand 22 00:02:08.870 --> 00:02:14.870 it, trusting that it's God's word, that he is good and commanding it, 23 00:02:15.030 --> 00:02:20.580 that he is wise in it and that we who are desiring to follow 24 00:02:20.580 --> 00:02:24.020 him should seek to understand that. What is what does he say here? 25 00:02:27.219 --> 00:02:30.289 Well, we're going to think about three a different things, the first being 26 00:02:30.409 --> 00:02:36.330 that there is a real God given order for our homes, and then second 27 00:02:36.650 --> 00:02:39.129 we're going to think about what that that order, looks like and in some 28 00:02:39.289 --> 00:02:47.240 practical ways and with a special emphasis, and I guess this is number three, 29 00:02:47.400 --> 00:02:53.759 with understanding what it means to do so as to the Lord. So 30 00:02:53.919 --> 00:02:58.199 the first point, as we consider this passage, one of the things we 31 00:02:58.400 --> 00:03:05.590 know is that there is a real order within the home. God is perfectly 32 00:03:05.949 --> 00:03:10.909 and extremely clear about this. There are no qualifications really, or well, 33 00:03:10.909 --> 00:03:17.500 there are some, but it's stated very clearly that there is a particular order 34 00:03:19.139 --> 00:03:23.139 within the home. Now, just as there is within every other sphere of 35 00:03:23.219 --> 00:03:27.610 our lives, the home has a particular order as well. The husband is 36 00:03:27.729 --> 00:03:32.289 to be the loving head of his wife and the wife is to submit to 37 00:03:32.449 --> 00:03:38.169 her husband. I'm Paul gives this instruction in Chapter Verse Twenty Two, and 38 00:03:38.250 --> 00:03:44.039 then he gives a reason for it in verse twenty three. For, he 39 00:03:44.199 --> 00:03:47.319 says, in no sense, this is simply the way it is. Wives 40 00:03:47.319 --> 00:03:51.919 submit to your own husband's as to the Lord. Why? For the husband 41 00:03:52.000 --> 00:03:54.400 is the head of the wife. That's what you do in an order when, 42 00:03:54.439 --> 00:04:00.830 when one is the head, those who are under the head are required 43 00:04:00.909 --> 00:04:02.949 to submit. It's this way, not just in the home, but in 44 00:04:03.030 --> 00:04:09.189 every sphere of of life. It's this way. In addition to simply stating 45 00:04:09.270 --> 00:04:14.300 that this is the case, he also points out that the way in which 46 00:04:14.419 --> 00:04:18.740 this is to happen is connected with another reality, and that his Christ's headship 47 00:04:19.180 --> 00:04:25.329 over the church. So we see very clearly to hear that there is a 48 00:04:25.410 --> 00:04:29.930 very real order, and order that cannot be reversed. The husband is to 49 00:04:29.970 --> 00:04:32.490 be the loving head of his wife and the wife is to submit to her 50 00:04:32.529 --> 00:04:38.129 husband. Now, with that said, it's of course true that in many 51 00:04:38.170 --> 00:04:43.360 ways a wife and husband are equals. They are both made in the image 52 00:04:43.360 --> 00:04:46.759 of God, they both have honor and respect before the Lord. They both 53 00:04:46.879 --> 00:04:51.639 have been saved by Christ, not one more than the other, but equally. 54 00:04:54.110 --> 00:04:58.990 It's also true that in various things, the wife will be superior to 55 00:04:59.189 --> 00:05:03.350 her husband. If you have not realized this yet, husband's you have a 56 00:05:03.389 --> 00:05:10.579 lot of work to do. There are ways in there are physical gifts, 57 00:05:10.620 --> 00:05:16.100 emotional gifts, mental gifts, spiritual gifts, in which the wife will be 58 00:05:16.500 --> 00:05:23.089 superior to her husband, able to do things that he is either not able 59 00:05:23.209 --> 00:05:27.449 to do or is not able to do as well. It's also true that 60 00:05:27.569 --> 00:05:32.449 there are mental, spiritual, emotional, physical things that a husband is able 61 00:05:32.569 --> 00:05:39.800 to do that is superior to a wife's abilities. We might say that this 62 00:05:39.959 --> 00:05:43.319 actually has nothing to do with husbands and wives. This is just people. 63 00:05:43.399 --> 00:05:47.759 We all are different, we all have different capabilities and sort of land on 64 00:05:47.839 --> 00:05:54.029 the spectrum that various times, in various places, God has given us different 65 00:05:54.069 --> 00:06:00.350 things and in different ways, as some are particularly feminine or masculine, but 66 00:06:00.509 --> 00:06:06.300 many are spiritual gifts and other things are not. God gives to each and 67 00:06:06.420 --> 00:06:12.060 to every couple, of variety of gifts. One may have what the other 68 00:06:12.100 --> 00:06:16.339 does not. Hopefully that's the case actually in many cases, because husbands and 69 00:06:16.459 --> 00:06:21.449 wives often lean on each other for the things that they're lacking. One may 70 00:06:21.610 --> 00:06:29.490 have more or of what the other has less. These realities are are these 71 00:06:29.569 --> 00:06:34.879 are realities that every couple needs to be sensitive to. So the fact of 72 00:06:34.959 --> 00:06:39.839 what I'm saying here is the fact that a wives are to submit to their 73 00:06:39.879 --> 00:06:46.230 husband's doesn't make them inferior in every respect. When what and he says wives 74 00:06:46.269 --> 00:06:50.829 are to submit to their husband's Paul's only talking about this particular order within the 75 00:06:50.910 --> 00:06:58.189 home. He's not saying that wives are necessarily less valuable or less smart or 76 00:06:58.230 --> 00:07:01.100 less spiritually gifted or anything like that. In fact, in some cases they 77 00:07:01.100 --> 00:07:05.220 may be more. So it all depends on the couple and the relationship. 78 00:07:06.699 --> 00:07:13.620 That being said, these realities do not eliminate the other reality that God has 79 00:07:13.779 --> 00:07:18.490 established a particular order and a particular relationship with a home where the husband is 80 00:07:18.569 --> 00:07:21.970 to be the head and the wife is to submit to her husband. The 81 00:07:23.089 --> 00:07:25.930 good news, my friends, is you don't have to choose sort of one 82 00:07:26.089 --> 00:07:30.879 reality over and against another. Just as you wouldn't deny the importance of smell 83 00:07:31.160 --> 00:07:35.680 just because you love your ability to taste. They don't have to be opposing 84 00:07:35.720 --> 00:07:42.120 or opposites. Know, a wise person believes all things that are true, 85 00:07:42.839 --> 00:07:47.750 all things that are in accord with reality. Just as you wouldn't deny the 86 00:07:47.829 --> 00:07:53.790 importance of smell just because you value the importance of taste, we don't deny 87 00:07:54.029 --> 00:07:59.220 the importance of God's order in the home just because we recognize the variety and 88 00:07:59.420 --> 00:08:05.660 even unequal nature of gifts that exist between two people. A better approach is 89 00:08:05.779 --> 00:08:09.899 to enjoy them together, like you do when cookies come out of the oven 90 00:08:11.459 --> 00:08:15.889 right you smell and you enjoy and then your taste, and you do that 91 00:08:16.050 --> 00:08:20.930 together and it's a wonderful thing. You don't have to choose one reality over 92 00:08:22.009 --> 00:08:26.850 the other. And it's like this in marriage. These things are best enjoyed. 93 00:08:26.089 --> 00:08:31.519 A marriage is best enjoyed when these things to get together, when a 94 00:08:31.680 --> 00:08:37.960 recognition of a differences in gifts and abilities isn't is recognized right alongside a particular 95 00:08:39.000 --> 00:08:46.470 order within the marriage and that relationship. You can't really over emphasize how important 96 00:08:46.470 --> 00:08:52.950 it is to give a respect and value to God's principles and even to love 97 00:08:52.070 --> 00:08:56.460 them. Because, as with anything in life, when you deny the basic 98 00:08:56.500 --> 00:09:03.980 order of things, things go poorly. Imagine if you're a singer, for 99 00:09:03.179 --> 00:09:09.529 example, who decides that you're not going to breathe with respect to the anatomy 100 00:09:09.649 --> 00:09:15.610 God has given you. You will have bad sound, you will be tense, 101 00:09:15.769 --> 00:09:20.370 you will have pitch problems, you may even damage your voice. Consider 102 00:09:20.409 --> 00:09:26.320 other things in life. Rulers who don't give respect to the God given rights 103 00:09:26.399 --> 00:09:33.639 of their subjects will face innumerable obstacles and extreme pain in governing, and couples 104 00:09:33.759 --> 00:09:39.830 and marriages who don't respect the God given order of their relationship will likewise struggle 105 00:09:39.590 --> 00:09:45.389 to be in harmony and can do great damage to their relationship and also to 106 00:09:45.509 --> 00:09:50.350 the other people who depend on that. To quote a few sentences from Chrysostom, 107 00:09:50.429 --> 00:09:54.659 he says when the husband and wife are in harmony, their children are 108 00:09:54.779 --> 00:10:00.100 being reared well and their household is in good order, their neighbors, neighbors 109 00:10:00.139 --> 00:10:03.019 will smell the sweet fragrance of harmony, along with all of their friends and 110 00:10:03.179 --> 00:10:09.730 relatives. But if the contraries true, everything is overturned and thrown into confusion. 111 00:10:13.889 --> 00:10:18.409 There's an old story about a snake who tale decided to lead the way, 112 00:10:18.409 --> 00:10:22.759 and you can imagine how the rest of the story goes. It's just 113 00:10:22.000 --> 00:10:28.440 disastrous. It's this way in every single area of life. Wherever we sort 114 00:10:28.440 --> 00:10:33.559 of take the reality, in the ways in which God has set things and 115 00:10:33.679 --> 00:10:37.190 we say, well, I just want to do it differently, we there 116 00:10:37.350 --> 00:10:43.870 we struggle things that go badly. All this to sum up this point. 117 00:10:43.909 --> 00:10:48.029 We could say it this way, and this passage God gives us very clear 118 00:10:48.190 --> 00:10:54.580 instructions on how a marriage is to be ordered. He doesn't say everything that 119 00:10:54.620 --> 00:10:58.940 could possibly be said here, but he does say it very clearly. Why'ves 120 00:10:58.980 --> 00:11:03.620 submit to your own husband's as to the Lord, for the husband is the 121 00:11:03.700 --> 00:11:09.690 head of the wife. When to become one flesh, they don't become a 122 00:11:09.889 --> 00:11:15.370 Blob, they become a body, one with dignity, one with beauty, 123 00:11:16.169 --> 00:11:20.399 one with order. So if we begin with that point right, and this 124 00:11:20.559 --> 00:11:24.440 is always sort of the cardinal rule of interpretation, or one of the few 125 00:11:24.639 --> 00:11:30.960 cardinal rules of interpretation, is you start with what's clear and you work your 126 00:11:31.000 --> 00:11:35.389 way from there. So if it's very clear that God has established an order 127 00:11:35.549 --> 00:11:39.389 in the home, then we begin to ask questions like well, what does 128 00:11:39.470 --> 00:11:43.549 that look like? I'm last time we talked in some detailed way is about 129 00:11:43.549 --> 00:11:48.419 what that does not look like. But positively what what does it look like 130 00:11:48.539 --> 00:11:52.539 when we're ready to affirm and even praise the order God has established for our 131 00:11:52.580 --> 00:11:58.220 marriages? How do we work that out? Well, as I mentioned last 132 00:11:58.220 --> 00:12:03.009 time, this passage is very tiny. Right, there are other places you 133 00:12:03.049 --> 00:12:09.289 can go that give great detail and and wisdom even on things like this, 134 00:12:09.450 --> 00:12:16.279 but Paul's instructions are are somewhat limited. I think one of the implications of 135 00:12:16.399 --> 00:12:20.399 that is that it requires us to do some careful thinking. He's already told 136 00:12:20.440 --> 00:12:24.720 us, and in Ephesians, that we are to be wise and to seek 137 00:12:24.799 --> 00:12:28.399 the will of God. There are lots of ways that that we can do 138 00:12:28.639 --> 00:12:33.830 that, but let's think about what Paul does say here explicitly and focus on 139 00:12:33.950 --> 00:12:39.429 those. To begin with, the first thing Paul says in regards to what 140 00:12:39.549 --> 00:12:45.059 this submission looks like is that wives are to submit to their own husband's all 141 00:12:45.179 --> 00:12:48.620 this. Mentioned this extremely briefly and say that the relationship God is focusing on 142 00:12:48.820 --> 00:12:54.179 here is between husbands and wives, not men and women. Paul doesn't say 143 00:12:54.220 --> 00:13:01.370 all women are to submit to any or all men. He says very explicitly, 144 00:13:01.570 --> 00:13:07.730 wives submit to your own husband's the second thing Paul says, will spend 145 00:13:09.250 --> 00:13:13.840 the bulk of our time on this, is he says that the submission of 146 00:13:13.000 --> 00:13:18.679 wives to their husband's is to be as to the Lord, as to the 147 00:13:18.919 --> 00:13:24.799 Lord. This is a very, very important point and it's important that you 148 00:13:24.879 --> 00:13:30.070 understand this, not just if you're a wife, but whatever you are in 149 00:13:30.230 --> 00:13:33.190 your life, because as Christians, we are to do everything as to the 150 00:13:33.350 --> 00:13:39.110 Lord. Think particularly about the wife's perspective in this, in this particular duty, 151 00:13:39.509 --> 00:13:43.580 but it's something that we can apply, all of us can apply to 152 00:13:43.659 --> 00:13:50.419 our lives. We might think here is this, though her husband is her 153 00:13:50.460 --> 00:13:56.769 head in terms of her marriage or their marriage, he is not the highest 154 00:13:56.850 --> 00:14:01.370 Lord in her life. Both the husband and the wife live out their marriage 155 00:14:01.370 --> 00:14:07.450 under the rule of God, and that is why she is to submit to 156 00:14:07.529 --> 00:14:13.159 her husband ultimately as to the Lord. For example, a wife May refuse 157 00:14:13.320 --> 00:14:20.080 something required by her husband. She may refuse it if it is prohibited by 158 00:14:20.240 --> 00:14:24.629 God. If, for example, he requires her to submit to abuse, 159 00:14:26.269 --> 00:14:30.470 to commit a crime, to raise their children and idolatry, she can and 160 00:14:30.789 --> 00:14:35.190 even must refuse now. Of course, there are Christian and Unchristian ways to 161 00:14:35.269 --> 00:14:39.340 do this. There are wise and unwise ways to do this, but do 162 00:14:39.539 --> 00:14:46.860 this she must, because she ultimately submits to God. It is also true 163 00:14:46.899 --> 00:14:52.620 that a wife may not respect her husband more than God. This is how 164 00:14:52.820 --> 00:14:58.370 the Great Puritan William Goods puts it. He says, on the one side, 165 00:14:58.610 --> 00:15:03.690 a cringing, flattering disposition of such wives that seek to please their husband's 166 00:15:03.049 --> 00:15:07.480 so that they do not care about displeasing God, on the other side, 167 00:15:07.480 --> 00:15:11.679 as a weak, timid heart which makes them fear their husband's more than they 168 00:15:11.759 --> 00:15:18.799 fear God. He points to Jezebel and Sarah as examples. Jezebel, Overlea 169 00:15:18.879 --> 00:15:24.269 des Desires to please her husband at the expense of God, wickedly plans, 170 00:15:24.669 --> 00:15:30.590 nay both's death. On the other side, as he puts it, good 171 00:15:30.789 --> 00:15:35.230 Sarah, that worthy precedent of good wives and other things, failed to some 172 00:15:35.389 --> 00:15:41.500 degree in this way. You'll have to reflect on her story. He concludes 173 00:15:41.620 --> 00:15:48.100 like this. If wives rightly considered and always remembered that they have a husband, 174 00:15:48.259 --> 00:15:52.809 namely Christ, in heaven as well as on Earth, and that there 175 00:15:52.850 --> 00:15:56.970 is a greater difference between that husband and this husband than between heaven and earth, 176 00:15:58.769 --> 00:16:03.169 and that both in giving reward and in taking revenge, there is no 177 00:16:03.490 --> 00:16:11.519 comparison between them. Their care of Plut pleasing of or their fear of offending 178 00:16:11.600 --> 00:16:17.519 their husband in heaven would be much more than of pleasing or offending their husband 179 00:16:18.080 --> 00:16:22.309 on earth. So, in thinking about our order in the homes, we 180 00:16:22.429 --> 00:16:26.149 can't sort of have this my opic view and look at it in this very 181 00:16:26.269 --> 00:16:32.149 constricted way. A wife, and all of us, husbands as well as 182 00:16:32.230 --> 00:16:34.700 we will consider as we go on and EFHESIONS, have to open their minds 183 00:16:34.779 --> 00:16:40.899 up and and see the Lord who is in heaven and self. Our Obedience, 184 00:16:40.980 --> 00:16:45.820 our service, our relationships are always to be as to him, with 185 00:16:45.940 --> 00:16:48.769 a view of their husband in heaven. Their submission on earth will then be 186 00:16:48.970 --> 00:16:55.090 done according to the will of Christ, not only in the specific things done 187 00:16:55.129 --> 00:16:57.450 or not done, but of course in the ways in which they are done. 188 00:16:59.889 --> 00:17:03.720 And that takes us to another thing that Paul says and helps us to 189 00:17:03.799 --> 00:17:10.720 understand the quality and kind of submission. He says a wives to submit to 190 00:17:10.839 --> 00:17:15.349 your own husband's as to the Lord, in a way that the church submits 191 00:17:15.470 --> 00:17:21.549 to Christ. So the wife will all submit to her husband. Now, 192 00:17:21.710 --> 00:17:26.990 as with all comparisons like this, they are not all ways it identical in 193 00:17:27.150 --> 00:17:32.980 every way. A wife's husband, for example, is not her savior, 194 00:17:33.660 --> 00:17:37.859 to states of the obvious. But there are similarities right, and that's what 195 00:17:37.420 --> 00:17:42.660 Paul is drawing our attention to. Again, I'd like to point us to 196 00:17:42.819 --> 00:17:48.490 this this puritan. He has a three book series, by the way, 197 00:17:48.569 --> 00:17:52.690 called building a godly home, which I would very much encourage you to to 198 00:17:52.890 --> 00:17:56.690 get and to read if you want to think more about this. I think 199 00:17:56.730 --> 00:18:03.200 it's published by reformation heritage. He has a lot of good advice and way, 200 00:18:03.559 --> 00:18:10.880 way better theology than you will find in most marriage books today. When 201 00:18:10.920 --> 00:18:15.470 he asked this question, what does submission look like with respect to similarities between 202 00:18:15.509 --> 00:18:22.829 Christ and the church, he names four virtues which are especially needed. I 203 00:18:22.910 --> 00:18:30.980 think he's right about this. Humility, sincerity, cheerfulness and perseverance. He 204 00:18:32.140 --> 00:18:34.299 offers many pages on these and I want to just touch on a few, 205 00:18:34.339 --> 00:18:41.420 summarizing some of his thoughts and then also sharing some of my own and things 206 00:18:41.420 --> 00:18:47.690 drawn from God's word. This is a way in which we can think very 207 00:18:47.769 --> 00:18:53.490 practically. What are the scriptures say? What is real submission? As to 208 00:18:53.529 --> 00:18:59.880 the Lord look like. Of course, we could say lots and lots about 209 00:18:59.880 --> 00:19:03.839 this, and I would encourage you not to let your last thought be with 210 00:19:03.960 --> 00:19:08.000 the end of this message, but to get to know people that live this 211 00:19:08.200 --> 00:19:14.470 out, to talk with them about their trials and challenges and and other things. 212 00:19:15.630 --> 00:19:18.269 Let's start, as we think and reflect on this, with humility. 213 00:19:19.589 --> 00:19:22.869 With regard to humility, the church, of course, is humble before Christ. 214 00:19:25.059 --> 00:19:29.180 Augustine said, for those who would learn God's ways, humility is the 215 00:19:29.299 --> 00:19:34.940 first thing. Humility is the second, humility is the third. As our 216 00:19:36.019 --> 00:19:41.930 Lord tells, every Christian do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in 217 00:19:41.009 --> 00:19:47.210 humility, regard others better than yourselves. This is something that is it's a 218 00:19:47.289 --> 00:19:52.569 duty upon every Christian, man, woman, boy or girl. Well, 219 00:19:52.569 --> 00:19:56.599 if humility is the duty of every Christian, do you think it's strengthened or 220 00:19:56.680 --> 00:20:03.920 weakened when the Lord places US under an authority? Of course it's strengthened. 221 00:20:03.759 --> 00:20:10.509 Well, why? Well, because pride doesn't bring submission, it brings rebellion, 222 00:20:10.670 --> 00:20:18.150 it brings contention. Where humility submort supports submission, pride undermines it. 223 00:20:18.390 --> 00:20:22.500 Our world, of course, mocks humility, but remember what Jesus tells his 224 00:20:22.660 --> 00:20:27.539 followers in Matthew Eighteen, for he draws their attention to a child and says 225 00:20:27.819 --> 00:20:33.140 whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest of the Kingdom of Heaven. 226 00:20:34.299 --> 00:20:40.289 The Lord Exalts Humility. He claims it is a good thing, an honorable 227 00:20:40.410 --> 00:20:45.130 thing, away of the Kingdom of God. Now, of course, humility 228 00:20:45.970 --> 00:20:52.400 and humble submission is extremely difficult if you are the wife of a foolish or 229 00:20:52.480 --> 00:21:00.079 uncaring man. The church, we might say, is greatly eased in our 230 00:21:00.200 --> 00:21:06.509 efforts to be humbly submissive to our Lord, because, he tells us, 231 00:21:06.630 --> 00:21:11.069 my yoke is easy, my bird and His light, everything he does as 232 00:21:11.150 --> 00:21:18.779 our husband is perfect and good. Nevertheless, Jesus doesn't say humble yourselves, 233 00:21:18.900 --> 00:21:22.339 like the church, if your husband is as good as me, he says, 234 00:21:22.579 --> 00:21:27.299 because no husband would be as good as him. Jesus simply calls wives 235 00:21:27.460 --> 00:21:34.529 to humble submission. Of course Jesus knows how difficult it is to be humble 236 00:21:36.490 --> 00:21:41.569 in a very proud and foolish world, but I think it helps to know 237 00:21:41.769 --> 00:21:45.529 this. It helps to know that the Lord himself is perfect and that his 238 00:21:45.890 --> 00:21:51.400 call is always above that of your own. Husband's. If I speak to 239 00:21:51.480 --> 00:21:55.720 you as wives, his yoke is easy, his bird in His light, 240 00:21:55.839 --> 00:22:02.750 and knowing that you are ultimately submitting to that Lord, perhaps it might make 241 00:22:02.829 --> 00:22:08.230 it easier when submitting to your own husband's is difficult. First Peter Five six 242 00:22:08.309 --> 00:22:14.630 says to all Christians. Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of 243 00:22:14.829 --> 00:22:22.460 God, that he may exalt you in due time. True humility is not 244 00:22:22.779 --> 00:22:27.539 cringing and groveling to one's husband, pretending that he's perfect, because he's not. 245 00:22:30.569 --> 00:22:34.609 But true humility is being submissive to one's husband, but as to the 246 00:22:34.809 --> 00:22:45.160 Lord, because he capital H is perfect. What about sincerity? With regard 247 00:22:45.279 --> 00:22:49.839 to sincerity, we might say there's no true submission when it's a mere show. 248 00:22:52.079 --> 00:22:53.920 Remember, if we submit to the Lord at or if we submit as 249 00:22:55.000 --> 00:22:59.750 to the Lord, we remember that God knows our hearts. He's not pleased 250 00:22:59.869 --> 00:23:07.309 with mere outward humility and submission. Closeness, intimacy, deep love come when 251 00:23:07.349 --> 00:23:12.619 the inward heart and the outward actions are joined together. The Lord will say 252 00:23:12.660 --> 00:23:18.819 an Ephesians six to servants that they are not to be man pleasers, and 253 00:23:18.980 --> 00:23:22.779 this is true of all who submit to the Lord in one another. This 254 00:23:22.940 --> 00:23:29.009 will dulut disallow or prohibit all kinds of things, like talking poor early behind 255 00:23:29.089 --> 00:23:33.049 the back of one's husband, doing a task but complaining about it under one's 256 00:23:33.089 --> 00:23:41.329 breast breath. Hypocrisy, flattery, adultery, of course. But again, 257 00:23:41.599 --> 00:23:47.200 what do you do when you have a husband who isn't that honorable, who 258 00:23:47.359 --> 00:23:52.039 isn't that wise, who takes no regard for his wife's love or her gifts 259 00:23:52.079 --> 00:23:56.829 of a submission and honor? What do you do when you have a husband 260 00:23:56.869 --> 00:24:03.869 who neglects these treasures given to him? Again, it's hard, is not 261 00:24:03.029 --> 00:24:08.109 really easy answers to that question, but I do believe that it's helpful to 262 00:24:08.230 --> 00:24:17.660 know and imperative to remember that the Lord who knows our hearts and knows whether 263 00:24:17.740 --> 00:24:22.420 we are truly submissive or or not, is also the Lord who knows our 264 00:24:22.539 --> 00:24:29.809 heart and he knows when we are trying, when we are struggling and seeking 265 00:24:29.970 --> 00:24:33.930 his wisdom and help. He knows, even when your husband doesn't know it, 266 00:24:34.130 --> 00:24:41.559 he knows that your obedience is as to him. Our Puritan friend points 267 00:24:41.599 --> 00:24:47.880 to Hezekiah's words and Isaiah thirty eight three. Remember now, oh Lord, 268 00:24:48.200 --> 00:24:52.069 I beseech the how I have had, how I have walked before the in 269 00:24:52.190 --> 00:24:56.349 truth and with a perfect heart and have done that which is good in thy 270 00:24:56.509 --> 00:25:03.190 sight. Even when man doesn't see, even when the people around you don't 271 00:25:03.190 --> 00:25:10.140 recognize the good that you are doing, the Lord sees. The Lord knows 272 00:25:11.259 --> 00:25:18.779 he's the most important. Next to this we can add cheerfulness. Second Corinthians 273 00:25:18.259 --> 00:25:22.569 seven says the Lord loves a cheerful giver, and that's in relation to money, 274 00:25:22.609 --> 00:25:27.569 but that's the true of everything we give, including submission. Sincerity in 275 00:25:27.609 --> 00:25:32.529 the Lord means knowing who he is, knowing what he's done for us, 276 00:25:32.890 --> 00:25:37.880 which then allows us to give ourselves enjoy. You of course, know the 277 00:25:37.920 --> 00:25:41.240 difference between serving with a happy heart and serving with a soul in one. 278 00:25:42.039 --> 00:25:48.079 If you're an employer and you have a employee who comes, comes to work 279 00:25:48.039 --> 00:25:52.990 but is grouchy about it, complains about it all the time, I'm barely 280 00:25:53.109 --> 00:25:59.029 does the work and is frustrated with everything, it's not really what you want, 281 00:26:00.150 --> 00:26:03.309 and of course you know what it feels like. That feels different to 282 00:26:03.430 --> 00:26:08.299 do work with a happy and a cheerful heart and to do one in a 283 00:26:08.420 --> 00:26:15.259 begrudging way. One is slow and requires much prodding. There's pouting, and 284 00:26:15.539 --> 00:26:19.769 whining and complaining. It's hard to imagine that this is the true submission that 285 00:26:19.849 --> 00:26:29.170 the Lord wants. True submission is that which is done cheerfully, readiness and 286 00:26:30.049 --> 00:26:36.839 delight. Finally, perseverance. With regard to perseverance, the church is called 287 00:26:36.920 --> 00:26:40.240 not to serve Jesus for a day and then go back to her own way, 288 00:26:40.319 --> 00:26:42.880 or to serve the Lord when we like it or and then stop when 289 00:26:42.880 --> 00:26:49.910 we don't. With respect to our Lord, the opposite of perseverance is apostasy. 290 00:26:51.869 --> 00:26:56.470 A lack of constancy is a dangerous thing. Now, of course, 291 00:26:56.549 --> 00:27:00.150 it's a different case with husbands and wives, but it gives us a sense 292 00:27:00.269 --> 00:27:07.180 of the true nature of submission. It requires perseverance, consistency in endurance. 293 00:27:07.819 --> 00:27:11.420 Of course, perseverance is not always easy. It is by definition, not 294 00:27:11.740 --> 00:27:17.049 easy. That's what we call it perseverance. That's why we call it endurance, 295 00:27:17.089 --> 00:27:22.089 because it's it's a thing done with obstacles in mind. But when we 296 00:27:22.250 --> 00:27:26.130 remember that we do it as to the Lord, when we remember that he 297 00:27:26.250 --> 00:27:33.200 has our backs, this brings a great comfort and encouragement. I love this 298 00:27:33.359 --> 00:27:37.759 thing that spurgeon one said. He said by perseverance the snail reached the Ark. 299 00:27:37.960 --> 00:27:45.509 It's a good thing to remember. Paul writes, we rejoice also in 300 00:27:45.630 --> 00:27:49.910 our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance. Perseverance, character, 301 00:27:49.950 --> 00:27:56.750 character hope. The writer to the Hebrew says, let us run with endurance 302 00:27:56.869 --> 00:27:59.819 the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the author and 303 00:27:59.980 --> 00:28:07.579 perfector of our faith. So you take these things together, perseverance, cheerfulness, 304 00:28:10.460 --> 00:28:15.289 true work that is done from the heart, all the rest, but 305 00:28:15.450 --> 00:28:22.289 you get as a picture here of one that is truly beautiful. This a 306 00:28:22.450 --> 00:28:26.440 picture of of submission that I I'm submitting to you, this one that is, 307 00:28:26.759 --> 00:28:33.559 I'm filled with these great and virtuous qualities, is it's really wonderful. 308 00:28:36.599 --> 00:28:42.549 I imagine that if any husband here imagined his wife who is called to this 309 00:28:42.829 --> 00:28:48.789 task, would himself be should perhaps a shaken his boots a little bit, 310 00:28:48.910 --> 00:28:55.150 knowing how high this calling is on her, knowing how great a thing it 311 00:28:55.230 --> 00:29:00.380 is that she is called to do. How could we ever treat that lightly? 312 00:29:00.420 --> 00:29:06.819 How could we ever treat that with disdain or in a flippant way? 313 00:29:10.250 --> 00:29:15.890 What the Lord asks, what the Lord Commands, is always good and when 314 00:29:15.890 --> 00:29:18.809 we think about his laws in this way, when we meditate on them. 315 00:29:18.849 --> 00:29:22.490 It's sort of like asking what would an ideal shade tree look like, you 316 00:29:22.609 --> 00:29:26.319 know, with its roots buried deep, deep down in the ground, pulling 317 00:29:26.480 --> 00:29:33.480 from deep resources, beautiful leaves that are spread out, a great canopy that 318 00:29:33.640 --> 00:29:38.309 brings comfort and beautiful sounds. It's the kind of thing that is lovely to 319 00:29:38.470 --> 00:29:47.309 enjoy but extremely difficult to be you might look at this picture and you might 320 00:29:47.349 --> 00:29:52.380 say, wow, that's amazing, but you also might look at this picture 321 00:29:52.420 --> 00:30:00.539 and say, I that's impossible. Humility, sincerity, perseverance, cheerfulness, 322 00:30:00.700 --> 00:30:04.539 and to this we could add a whole set of other virtues and ideals and 323 00:30:04.740 --> 00:30:14.250 wise habits and practices. You have of extremely beautiful and wonderful thing, but 324 00:30:14.369 --> 00:30:17.890 you also have, perhaps, when you compare it to your own sinfulness, 325 00:30:18.809 --> 00:30:25.279 something that feels incredibly impossible to attained to. So why do we think about 326 00:30:25.279 --> 00:30:30.559 it? Why bothers sort of meditating on God's laws, meditating on what it 327 00:30:30.759 --> 00:30:34.480 really looks like, and not its perverted forms, but in its true form? 328 00:30:36.589 --> 00:30:40.390 Well, we do it not to simply be overwhelmed, though I know 329 00:30:40.630 --> 00:30:45.109 that it has that effect when we consider our weakness, but we do consider 330 00:30:45.230 --> 00:30:52.500 these things because we want the real thing, not parodies of it, and 331 00:30:52.700 --> 00:30:56.579 in the ways that we strive for obedience to the Lord. Do you want 332 00:30:56.900 --> 00:31:00.660 real obedience or a perversion of it, a parody of it, a joke 333 00:31:00.779 --> 00:31:10.170 of it? Of course not. We've seen that the Lord calls wives to 334 00:31:10.250 --> 00:31:15.049 submit to their husband's as, to the Lord, but we see that it 335 00:31:15.569 --> 00:31:21.400 is a difficult thing as well. It is a beautiful thing, something that 336 00:31:21.519 --> 00:31:25.039 we want, but how do we approach something we know that we can't meet? 337 00:31:25.880 --> 00:31:30.039 How do we do something that we know we can't attain? Well, 338 00:31:30.079 --> 00:31:36.710 some people simply give up. We say I just don't want to, I 339 00:31:36.789 --> 00:31:40.309 don't like it, it's uncomfortable, I'd rather do my own thing in my 340 00:31:40.430 --> 00:31:45.710 own way. This, of course, is not a Christian response. What 341 00:31:45.869 --> 00:31:49.700 is a Christians response? How do we submit to the Lord? Well, 342 00:31:49.700 --> 00:31:53.339 we walk in the Lord is he has commanded us to do. We study 343 00:31:53.500 --> 00:31:57.099 his law, we strive in his ways, but we recognize our weakness, 344 00:31:57.660 --> 00:32:04.410 we recognize our in abilities, we recognize our difficult and sometimes impossible situations and 345 00:32:04.569 --> 00:32:07.769 we look to him. We rely on him for wisdom, for strength and, 346 00:32:08.809 --> 00:32:15.170 most importantly of all, we remind we rely on him to forgive us 347 00:32:15.170 --> 00:32:20.480 our sins when we fay ill to provide for us of the strength that we 348 00:32:20.680 --> 00:32:34.190 need. No one's marriage is perfect. No one meets this standard of excellence 349 00:32:34.269 --> 00:32:37.990 that I've been putting forth to you. I don't put it forth to a 350 00:32:37.109 --> 00:32:40.750 saying, come on, let's all measure up and be on our way, 351 00:32:43.190 --> 00:32:46.740 but as a sense to see, this is what is desirable, this is 352 00:32:46.859 --> 00:32:51.539 what we desire to attain and try to strive for it, but at the 353 00:32:51.579 --> 00:32:57.700 same time we recognize we can't. So what do we do? We do 354 00:32:57.859 --> 00:33:02.049 what we always do. Go to the Lord. We repent of our sins. 355 00:33:04.009 --> 00:33:07.210 We Trust Not in our own righteousness but in his. We ask not 356 00:33:07.450 --> 00:33:12.730 for our own strength but his. We see our weaknesses, we see how 357 00:33:12.809 --> 00:33:15.920 far fall short we fall, and we go to him. As to the 358 00:33:16.160 --> 00:33:23.279 Lord, not only is our commander but as our savior, Jesus came into 359 00:33:23.319 --> 00:33:30.829 this world and gave perfect submission to the father. He stood in our place, 360 00:33:31.390 --> 00:33:37.990 obeying all of the Commands of God, so that we could be forgiven 361 00:33:37.430 --> 00:33:43.859 of our sins. Remember what I read from Hebrews. We run this race 362 00:33:43.900 --> 00:33:47.180 within Durrance, looking to Jesus not just as our Lord, which he always 363 00:33:47.220 --> 00:33:52.339 is, but also as our savior, because he says it, says he 364 00:33:52.500 --> 00:33:59.569 is the author and the perfector of our faith. This makes a difference for 365 00:33:59.650 --> 00:34:05.970 how we live our lives as Christians. Wives aren't merely seeking to submit to 366 00:34:06.049 --> 00:34:09.440 their own husband's and husbands aren't merely seeking to be the head of their wives, 367 00:34:10.199 --> 00:34:15.320 but they are doing so as to the Lord. They are growing in 368 00:34:15.440 --> 00:34:19.280 him, relying on him, drawing close to him in the midst of their 369 00:34:19.360 --> 00:34:23.469 imperfections, in their midst of their weaknesses and struggles and fights and difficulties. 370 00:34:27.949 --> 00:34:31.510 I once had a pastor, think I was in junior high or something, 371 00:34:31.550 --> 00:34:35.550 and I remember he went up to the white board and he drew this very 372 00:34:35.630 --> 00:34:38.739 simple thing. It always stuck with me. He was talking about relationships and 373 00:34:38.900 --> 00:34:44.699 maybe you've seen this, but drew a triangle, wrote the word God at 374 00:34:44.739 --> 00:34:49.380 the top of the triangle and husband and wife on either side, and he 375 00:34:49.460 --> 00:34:53.130 said, as you go closer to God, you get closer to each other. 376 00:34:54.369 --> 00:35:00.170 And that's very simple thing to say, but it's so true. And 377 00:35:00.329 --> 00:35:04.250 even in the cases, in the very difficult cases which I know some of 378 00:35:04.329 --> 00:35:09.360 you are wives in particular faith here in our church will have unbelieving husbands, 379 00:35:10.480 --> 00:35:14.679 know that as you draw all close to God, even though your husband may 380 00:35:14.760 --> 00:35:20.480 not be drawn close to God, God sees you, he's helping you, 381 00:35:21.159 --> 00:35:28.269 he's protecting you, he's watching over you. Rely on him. He takes 382 00:35:28.309 --> 00:35:30.829 care of you in every area of your wall, even every area of your 383 00:35:30.909 --> 00:35:37.139 life, including this one. I know that doesn't answer every question. I 384 00:35:37.780 --> 00:35:44.420 know that it requires much wisdom to navigate particular situations. But what other way 385 00:35:44.539 --> 00:35:49.579 do you want to grow? Do you want to grow away from God and 386 00:35:49.739 --> 00:35:53.809 do your own sins and your own weaknesses and do your own failings? If 387 00:35:53.889 --> 00:35:58.090 you want to grow closer to God, we don't do it by ignoring and 388 00:35:58.210 --> 00:36:02.170 despising his commands. Nor do we do it by simply pulling ourselves up by 389 00:36:02.170 --> 00:36:06.000 our booth straps and saying, all right, I'm going to do everything. 390 00:36:06.079 --> 00:36:08.639 Do it more, do it better, do it faster. No, you 391 00:36:08.760 --> 00:36:15.239 grow close to God I seeing your own sins, by seeing your weaknesses, 392 00:36:15.440 --> 00:36:22.590 the plank in your own eye and asking for forgiveness, relying on His grace, 393 00:36:22.630 --> 00:36:30.190 going to him for everything. That's what it means for wives and really 394 00:36:30.269 --> 00:36:35.380 all of us to live and work and do our obedience as to the Lord. 395 00:36:35.420 --> 00:36:39.019 Let's pray and ask that God would help us with these things.