Show Notes
Titus 2:4-5
Pastor Stephen Laurer
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Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Our gracious God in Heaven. We are reminded of how much we take for granted and fail to give you thanks for reminded that even sleep at night is a gift that comes from your hand.
[00:00:16] So, Lord God, we give thanks to you for all the good gifts that you give us each and every day.
[00:00:24] We thank you for the gift of children that you have blessed each of our families with and that you have blessed our congregation with.
[00:00:34] We thank you for our spouses and the great treasure and gift that they are to us.
[00:00:40] We thank you for our jobs. We thank you for the strength to carry them out.
[00:00:48] We thank you that you provide for all of our needs, O Lord God.
[00:00:55] We thank you that where we are weak, where we lack and struggle to pay the bills, where we have trouble sleeping, we thank you that where you may not have given us children, we thank you that where we go through life with all sorts of difficulties, burdens and trials, we thank you that you are enough, that you give us what we need because you give us yourself.
[00:01:29] We thank you that in Jesus we have received a heavenly father and a family of God full of brothers and sisters.
[00:01:39] We thank you that in Jesus Christ we have received a heavenly bridegroom.
[00:01:46] We thank you, O God, that in you, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, we have received infinite love and joy and blessing, O God, even as we thank you for all the things you have given us in this life, we thank you most of all that we can know you.
[00:02:05] We ask, O God, that as we turn to hear from you in your word, our hearts would seek to see our lives ordered according to your truth, that our desires of our hearts, that our loves would be warmed and touched and lit as with a heavenly burning fire with your love that we might love that which you love, desire that which you desire, and that most especially we would come to see your good plan and purpose and fulfill it, bringing you all glory and praise. Bless us then through Christ, by the power of your Spirit. In Jesus name we ask.
[00:02:47] Amen.
[00:02:51] Scripture reading this Evening is Titus 2. We'll read verses 3 through 5.
[00:02:58] Titus 2, 3, 5.
[00:03:01] This is God's Word.
[00:03:05] The older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good and so to train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self controlled, pure, working at home, kind and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
[00:03:34] Please be seated.
[00:03:51] Continue looking together at how Paul unfolds when he says in verse one that pastors Titus and pastors today are to teach what accords with sound doctrine, that there's a way of being as Christians in our character and a way of living that flows out of who we are in Christ, out of the things that we've come to believe and accept, out of our salvation.
[00:04:20] And this applies differently at different stages of life, whether we're old or young. And it applies differently whether we're men or women. We've used the example of a set of Russian nesting dolls. If you remember, if you've seen those.
[00:04:35] There's the outer doll, and you open it, and inside there's another one, and you take that out and you open that, and inside there's another one, and there might be three or four, maybe even five of these dolls nested. And usually there are things about the dolls that are similar. They're usually similar shape, but some are bigger and some are smaller.
[00:04:56] Often they have faces painted on them, but the faces and the clothing might be a little different. So there are things that are similar, but there's also things that are different. And so we've been seeing that as we go through each of these.
[00:05:10] We looked at the older men, the older women we saw. There are things that Paul exhorts, particularly for older men or for older women, things that are shared with other Christians that are particularly important for each Christian in that age of life and gender to grow in. Particularly here he turns to the younger women. And here we see something even more so, to a much greater degree than we saw in the older men and women. We see Paul focusing very narrowly on a group of things that are very specific to women. You might say here he's unfolding in two short verses a summary of female piety. What God calls women in a general way to pursue is those who have been saved by grace in Christ Jesus.
[00:06:01] These are the things that women are called to.
[00:06:04] So I want to look this evening at the things that Paul says are proper or accord or fitting for young women who've received the doctrine of the Gospel.
[00:06:19] We want to look first at a woman's love, secondly a woman's character, and thirdly, at the woman's home.
[00:06:28] So what's fitting or proper for young women who've received the gospel, received the power of the Holy Spirit, been transformed and changed?
[00:06:38] What should they look like and be?
[00:06:42] First, we'll look at the woman's love.
[00:06:45] I'll remind you the structure here as you read this. Paul says that the older women are to be teachers of good things. We looked at that last week.
[00:06:55] So that they can train and admonish the younger women in these things.
[00:07:00] Keep that in the back of your mind that those older women who've learned these things, practiced them for many years, grown in applying the gospel to themselves and in their homes and with their children and their husbands.
[00:07:13] Paul is saying they should instruct and train the younger women in all of the things that are listed here in verse 4 and 5 that we're going to look at.
[00:07:23] The women are to be lovers. He starts with love. Now, that shouldn't surprise us. All Christians are called to love. There's a way in which the whole summary of the Christian life can be summarized with this one word. Love. Love God, love your neighbor. But Paul here applies this love especially to the the women. They have a special particular focus in their love, a special kind or kind of love that they're called to.
[00:07:55] Called to love husband and to love children. These women are called, we might say, to the love of a wife and the love of a mother.
[00:08:07] One note here. The way our translation that we read, the way it brings it out, is it gives us the truth, it gives us what we need to hear, but it changes the wording a little. So it says that they're to train the young women to love their husbands and children.
[00:08:28] We get a whole phrase there, a bunch of words to love their husbands and children. In the original, there's just two words.
[00:08:36] And remember last week I talked about how there's this word for teachers of good things that really is just one word.
[00:08:43] And we could hyphenate it in English to make it one word. We don't have an equivalent word. We get the same problem here. There's two words, Husband lovers and children lovers. Hyphenated words. Those are the two words here. And they're like character traits that the wives are to grow in. Husband loving and wife, I'm sorry, and child loving.
[00:09:09] What's going on here?
[00:09:12] Her calling, the woman's calling, and particularly the things that are specific to the woman over against the men out there.
[00:09:23] These are being her calling. And her created purpose is being summarized in these two words.
[00:09:31] You remember that when God made the man Adam, he put him in the garden and he looked at him and he said, something's off here.
[00:09:39] This is not good. It's not good for the man to be alone.
[00:09:45] He needs a helper. And so God went and he made a helper suitable for the man. He made the woman and he made her just right to be the man's companion, to help her sorry for her to Help him so that together they might serve God.
[00:10:04] He helping. Sorry, she helping him fulfill his callings.
[00:10:09] And her performing her special role as they serve God together. There are things that God made her to do that he couldn't do.
[00:10:21] And both of them are captured in these two words.
[00:10:25] He can't be a lover of a husband.
[00:10:28] He is the husband.
[00:10:30] She can fulfill that calling.
[00:10:33] And he can't be a mother. She's called to bear and raise children in a way, a very special way that he can't do. And so she's to be a lover of children.
[00:10:45] The loves that Paul calls the young women to grow and excel in here. Lover of husbands, lover of children.
[00:10:54] They capture the woman's created purpose, especially in terms of the things that are specific to her. There's lots of things that men and women share. These are the things God created women to excel in.
[00:11:06] Being a wife, loving her husband, helping him in his callings and being fruitful, bearing children and raising them together with him.
[00:11:16] Now, we know that some are called to singleness. So there's always exceptions, right? Paul's dealing with the general state. Most women are called to marry. Jesus says there's some. Some are called to singleness. You can read about what he says in Matthew, chapter 19.
[00:11:32] Likewise to those women who marry.
[00:11:35] God does not give children to all women.
[00:11:39] So these words have to be applied to each of us in our particular places where God in His providence has led us and called us.
[00:11:48] But we see here that generally God has made women and entrusted to them a special set of loves, a special calling to love husband and her children.
[00:11:59] Now, Paul says that this isn't just a created thing. He says this is something that fits with the gospel.
[00:12:06] It's fitting what accords with. Going back to verse one, this is something that accords with sound doctrine, that the woman be a lover of her husband and her children.
[00:12:22] Let's think about this love in terms of the gospel and of what Jesus does.
[00:12:30] Our fallen nature doesn't want to love.
[00:12:35] What does our fallen nature want to do? My sin nature doesn't want to love other people. Doesn't want to love my wife, doesn't want to love my children. Even as a husband and father, my fallen nature wants to love me and take care of me.
[00:12:50] Our fallen natures are bent toward selfishness, the opposite of love.
[00:12:58] And that's what the world tells us right out there. It says, you should care about you.
[00:13:05] So our hearts sinfully are whispering that to us. You should care about you, you should love you. And the world Is saying that to us as well.
[00:13:15] Our hearts tell us, my time matters, my life matters, my money matters, my comfort matters.
[00:13:25] I should care about me.
[00:13:31] Where does that lead you?
[00:13:34] Someone, a woman, created to love husband and children, that selfish, fallen heart leads you to put off marriage, maybe to avoid it entirely, or after you've married, that same selfish heart says, my comfort matters, My time with my husband matters.
[00:13:57] I need to protect that, I need to cherish that. Let me delay or perhaps even forego children.
[00:14:07] And then once you've had husband and children, what does that heart sinfully, selfishly do?
[00:14:15] You're led to resent the inconveniences of husband and children. And we could go on, right? But maybe you're getting the picture of what our selfish hearts do, whether we're men or women. But in the context here, the selfish heart, the fallen, sinful heart, is directly opposed to God's created purpose for you. And here's what King Jesus does. He comes to you and he says, I came to save you from yourself.
[00:14:44] I came to deal with your selfish, sinful heart, and I did it out of love.
[00:14:53] You couldn't overcome your selfishness, that inward gravity that pulls you to you and away from the things God calls you to.
[00:15:02] So I came in love and I died for you.
[00:15:05] I went to the cross so that your sinful selfishness could be put to death, so that I could die for all of that. I could set you free from it and I can open you up to a life full of love. That's what happens, isn't it? When you come to know Jesus, you encounter God in the fullness of his love and compassion and mercy.
[00:15:31] God's heart full of love for you, the complete opposite of selfishness.
[00:15:37] You encounter Jesus and your heart says, what wondrous love is this, that he went and died for me? What love I get to live with every day of my life.
[00:15:50] And that heart filled with love, touched and warmed and lit by the flame of Christ's love, as filled with love and service as Christians all the time, everywhere, but especially as women saved by grace, filled with love for husband and children.
[00:16:11] What Paul's talking about here is perfectly fitting, proper, appropriate for sound doctrine.
[00:16:20] The woman who's encountered God's infinite love can now give in love to others.
[00:16:27] Now, there's a warning here. To us men, it's not just women that are prone to selfishness. It's men that are prone to selfishness too. And I can't tell you the number of men I've heard talk and women who have shared with my wife or I've heard them talking about how hurt they are because their husband wants to forego children, delay children, men. God has called your wife to bear and raise children. He's given her a heart for this, a deep desire for this.
[00:17:02] Don't throttle it. Don't hold her back, Encourage her as she pursues serving, not just you, but bearing and raising children for the king.
[00:17:13] And that's a wonderful thing to think about.
[00:17:17] This is a truly high calling. In some ways, the whole passage fits under this rubric of love of children and love of husband. The world pooh poohs, the family, it pooh poohs, marriage, it pooh poohs the calling of a wife and mother.
[00:17:34] But what a remarkable calling God has given the woman.
[00:17:40] It's a calling that a man cannot fulfill.
[00:17:44] We talked last week about how there are things that the older women can do for the younger women that as pastors, I can't do.
[00:17:50] Here's something that wives can do that husbands cannot do.
[00:17:56] It's a beautiful, wonderful, high calling that God has entrusted to womenkind. He didn't trust men with it. He entrusted the women with this.
[00:18:07] And as husbands and wives, we're called to serve God together.
[00:18:12] And in order for us to do this, we have to love one another, give way to one another, encourage one another, be there for one another.
[00:18:24] There's something greater as wonderful as that. Calling and serving and helping one another is as wonderful as that is.
[00:18:31] This call to love isn't just for the sake of the husband and children.
[00:18:38] The call to love here serves a greater love, a greater purpose, that of serving King Jesus.
[00:18:46] And so when the problems arise and the trouble comes in our marriages and everything, and we screw up and you got to get back up and love your children and love your husband again.
[00:18:59] Remember, we love because he first loved us. Us.
[00:19:05] Right?
[00:19:06] You turn to Jesus and you say, wait a minute, I'm not called to serve and love in my own power. The love comes from you. The forgiveness flows from you. The strength and the power flows from you. And the calling is ultimately not even about serving my husband and my children. It's about serving my king in heaven.
[00:19:27] You bear and raise children to populate eternity.
[00:19:34] The children you raise for King Jesus who grow up loving him and serving him, are going to be in heaven. That's something I can't do as a man.
[00:19:43] That's pretty remarkable.
[00:19:46] And your love and service to your husband is ultimately not about me, your husband.
[00:19:53] It's about your heavenly husband, King Jesus.
[00:19:59] This Calling of love is a wonderful high calling.
[00:20:04] We look to the woman's love.
[00:20:06] Paul moves on to her character, which he summarizes under the two heads of self control and purity. The women are being instructed in love, trained in love. They're also to be trained by the older women to be self controlled and pure.
[00:20:26] Do you get anxious sometimes?
[00:20:29] Do you worry?
[00:20:31] It can come from a lot of things, but one of the things that often comes from all of us, men and women, we get anxious and worry because we're trying to control, trying to control our children, trying to control the people around us, maybe our husbands or our wives, our circumstances. We need to make everything go right. And when it doesn't, we panic, we get anxious, we worry, we get bitter, frustrated, resentful as we try to control people and things around us and we can't.
[00:21:09] But the call here is not to control others.
[00:21:14] The call is for self control.
[00:21:19] If anxiety and panic come from controlling others and things around us, things we can't truly control, something else very different comes from self control. Biblical New Testament Self control is something we're called to pursue, but at the same time it's not something that comes from us.
[00:21:43] Remember, the fruit of the Spirit includes self control.
[00:21:49] It's something God produces in us. Yeah, we're called to pursue it, but we pursue it seeking God's grace and help in the matter.
[00:21:57] Self control. Biblical self control is a mind and heart where King Jesus reigns, where he sits on the throne, where he's governing, he's in control.
[00:22:13] And as our passions well up, fear, bitterness, envy, frustration, as they begin to well up in us, we turn and we take them and we present them to our king.
[00:22:29] And we say, Jesus, here's what I'm tempted to do with all of the passions of my heart and I need your help.
[00:22:38] Jesus, you reign in my heart.
[00:22:41] You by your spirit, govern and control and moderate and temper my passions come and squash my frustration.
[00:22:53] Take my resentment and pull it out like a weed from the roots.
[00:22:59] Take my bitterness and worry and all of that and pacify it.
[00:23:06] And what does the Spirit give us in its place? As Christ reigns in our hearts by his word and Spirit, the Spirit produces something very different. As self control over our passions develops, out comes compassion towards those around us.
[00:23:26] We develop patience in our circumstances. We we begin as we spend time at the throne of grace, we begin to develop a sense of trust that the king on the throne is in control of the circumstances around us. So I don't need to worry, I don't need to be Anxious, I don't need to panic. I can rest in Christ and moderate in his presence.
[00:23:52] What does self control do? Very, very important for the one who loves husband and children. Self control as it flows from Christ's throne through his spirit. It fills the home with calm, with peace and with joy.
[00:24:14] It enables you in difficult times and hard circumstances of all sorts, to follow your husband's lead, to obey him and to lead your children with grace.
[00:24:28] Important stuff. And he adds to this purity.
[00:24:32] If we're called to love, that love needs to be pure.
[00:24:38] Now, it's more than just sexual purity here, but it's a picture of a heart and life purified, cleansed from the stain of sin to the pure. All things are pure. We keep going back to that summary of the gospel in. In chapter one, verse 15.
[00:24:58] And we said, to the pure, all things are pure means that my life and the things I encounter in the world around me, whether it's food or relationships or the activities I engage in these things are pure. Because Christ has first come to me and purified my heart by faith.
[00:25:15] Christ has given me faith. He's worked in my heart by His Spirit. He's united me to Himself and His cleansing power of the work of the cross. He's purified me so that now out of a purified heart comes not sin and stains and pollution, but comes godly desires, pure thoughts towards my husband, a pure love towards my husband instead of resentment and difficulty towards my children, patience, pure love of children, and so forth.
[00:25:48] You get the picture.
[00:25:51] High calling of love requires a high character that God calls women to.
[00:25:59] Thirdly, we look at the woman's home. Paul says that the women are to be workers at home.
[00:26:06] And we're going to adjust the translation. Here it says kind.
[00:26:11] It's probably better to translate it with the word good.
[00:26:16] Good. It's the same word that you find where it says that the older women are to be teachers of good or to teach what is good. It's the same word that could be translated kind. But good is broader. It includes kindness, but it really includes all good things.
[00:26:33] That it be workers at home, good and submissive or obedient to their husband.
[00:26:42] The woman's sort of primary sphere of work as a wife and mother is the home.
[00:26:51] And guess what?
[00:26:53] The devil has a plan for you and your home.
[00:26:58] He wants to keep you from being fruitful.
[00:27:02] He wants you to be a dried up, shriveled vine that does nothing good for the kingdom of God.
[00:27:09] He wants your children to grow up and hate God.
[00:27:12] He wants your husband to be thwarted and dragged down by his wife.
[00:27:20] The devil wants to take all the good things that God has appointed and ordained through you and in your life and for you and turn it all on its head and make a mess of the whole thing.
[00:27:31] See, it's not just selfishness on the inside that opposes love of husband and children, but the devil that you can't see and the world that you can see out there are all arrayed against you and your family.
[00:27:46] And a chief angle of attack.
[00:27:48] Anyone who's been married for any length of time knows this. A chief angle of attack the devil has is to pit the wife and husband against each other.
[00:28:00] He will use the woman's disrespect, her disobedience, all of that.
[00:28:06] Anything that comes between the husband and wife, he's going to use that to drag him down and her down with him.
[00:28:17] And it doesn't just drag him down and her down and discourage them both and cause grief and trouble in what was supposed to be a beautiful relationship, fruitful serving the Lord.
[00:28:29] It drags the children down too, right. They see the disrespect, they see the anger, the frustration, the resentment that builds up between mom and dad, and the whole family gets dragged down.
[00:28:45] So Paul exhorts elsewhere, he exhorts husbands in their duties at length, Ephesians 5, Colossians 3, 1 Peter 3. Lots of places you can go to.
[00:28:56] But here he exhorts the young women to be trained to be obedient to their husband so that she would receive his leadership, so that she would obey him, as Paul says and elsewhere, obey him in the Lord, that is, not in sinful commands, not following him in sin, but as he's seeking to serve the Lord rightly and faithfully, she's to follow him in this.
[00:29:23] Here you see the husband and wife joining, linking arms together, serving the Lord together as it were, taking both sides of the yoke to pull the plow together in service to the Lord.
[00:29:38] That may be the chief angle of the devil's attack, but God has a better plan.
[00:29:47] He wants you to be fruitful. Vines like, to borrow the language of Psalm 1, he wants wives to be like trees planted by streams of water that bears its fruit in its season and its leaf does not wither. And whatever she does, she prospers.
[00:30:07] And God has planted you in the home. Primarily, God said, it's not good for a man to be alone by himself. He can't be fruitful, he can't multiply.
[00:30:18] He needs companionship, he needs all sorts of things. And he gave Adam a helper suitable for him. Eve, the mother of all the living.
[00:30:30] He's planted you in the home.
[00:30:36] Paul describes it this way, talking about younger widows.
[00:30:40] They're still of childbearing age, he says, I want the younger widows to marry, bear children and manage the house.
[00:30:48] This is her sphere of activity. And even those women who've been married once but lost their husbands, he says, you need to pursue this again. This is God's calling, good calling for you, and it's a good thing. Who can find a virtuous wife?
[00:31:07] Her worth is far above Ruby's. Proverbs 31:10.
[00:31:13] Good, much good to be done in the home in which God has planted you.
[00:31:19] A wife and mother is busy all day long and with little ones often all night long. And she's busy doing work, but not just toil and labor.
[00:31:35] That's fruitless.
[00:31:37] It's fruitful work.
[00:31:39] Men go out and we work and we earn money and then the money's gone.
[00:31:44] But as you raise children for God, those children grow up to serve God. And then one day you'll see them in eternity.
[00:31:55] The things that my hands build and the men in this church build. They're not going to be there when Christ comes again, but children raised to know and love the Lord Jesus.
[00:32:08] That's remarkable.
[00:32:10] That's good. It isn't just the children. A home filled with service is a home filled with good works offered to Jesus the King. The home is a center of goodness that flows out of it.
[00:32:25] From the home flows hospitality where the afflicted and the stranger can come and find rest and be cared for and blessed.
[00:32:37] Paul describes it this way of women who've served faithfully for many years in their homes. First Timothy 5, 9, 10. He says that when they're older they can look back on their lives and see all the good that is done for God has done their homes.
[00:32:54] He says of the older widows who the church should care for. She has been the wife of one man, lover of her husband, well reported for good works. If she has brought up children, lover of her children. If she has lodged strangers, if she has washed the saints feet, if she has relieved the afflicted, if she has diligently followed every good work.
[00:33:21] There's God's plan for the home, a fountain of goodness and blessing to herself, to her family, to her husband and to many beyond.
[00:33:34] Now Paul attaches to all of this a reason, and it's stated kind of negatively, why the woman ought to pursue love, good character and a blessed home.
[00:33:49] He says she needs to be trained in all of these things so that the word of God may not be reviled.
[00:33:58] Of course, that's a negative way of saying it, right? What he's saying is that the world is watching.
[00:34:05] The world knows what a home looks like when the mother is a good wife and a good mother and cares for her husband and children and is faithful and so on. The world knows what that looks like.
[00:34:19] And if the world sees Christians who claim to follow Jesus living in a way that doesn't fit, that he's saying, that they're going to look and say, now, what kind of a good news gospel is this if the result is broken homes and problems with children and all sorts of trouble? That's kind of what he's saying.
[00:34:46] What kind of a gospel results in that kind of a mess? You might say that's his warning here, that the Word of God may not be blasphemed. But in a way, we've already argued the positive case, that when the woman pursues these things, the gospel is being lived out in her heart and in her life and honor. Comes to King Jesus. If all of this flows from the love of Christ on the cross. As he comes near to us, he saves us from our sins, man and woman.
[00:35:24] He changes us.
[00:35:26] And we pursue godliness and love and peace with one another as we pursue the good callings he gives us by his strength and by the power of His Spirit. As our homes and lives and marriages are changed and transformed, it becomes a marvelous witness to Christ and His power and his goodness.
[00:35:48] That's what Paul is saying. If we were to restate it positively.
[00:35:54] Let's pray.
[00:35:58] Our gracious, merciful Heavenly Father, we thank youk, first of all, for your good and beautiful design for each of us, that yout made us in youn image, that yout made us to know good things, to learn about this world that yout've made, to work hard and build and do good things. To your glory.
[00:36:27] We thank you that you made us not just as individuals, but you made us as men and women to have relationships with each other, to have friends and to have marriages and family, and that in these relationships we could bless one another. We thank you for all these good things.
[00:36:49] And we thank you especially for the design that you have for the home, for the marriage and for raising children, and that all of this is to your glory.
[00:37:00] We confess as we hear all of these things, Lord, though, that we are reminded of our weakness, our sin, our selfishness, our rebellion, Lord, we are reminded that we are conceived and born in sin.
[00:37:16] And so often we return to it.
[00:37:19] But we thank you, O God, that Jesus is our Savior, that he loves us, that he died for us, that he came to purify us and wash away that stain of sin so that we might be renewed, changed, that we might have true love and pure desire for each other and for the good things that you call us to, Lord our God. We confess that we need your help.
[00:37:48] We need your help more and more each day. We see how much we need your power at work in us. So we ask, O Jesus, that you would come and reign in our hearts.
[00:37:59] Change them.
[00:38:01] Squash sin and rebellion, take away all those evil desires.
[00:38:07] We ask that you would heal the hurt that's in us. So often we act sinfully because of disappointment and hurt and bitterness. Please take that away to heal us. And in our weakness, we ask that you would strengthen us that we might serve you and bless one another to your glory. O God. We pray especially for the women that you instruct in your word. We ask that you would bless them as they seek to. To serve you.
[00:38:37] Grant them hearts that see your goodness, your glory, your power and your love.
[00:38:42] Draw them, O Lord, to yourself, that they might serve through thick and thin. Lord, we know you call them to very difficult work, difficult physically challenging, spiritually, emotionally. Day after day, sometimes it seems like with no relief. Lord Jesus, we ask that you would be near to our wives and mothers and women, that you would care for them, that they would know your love, your protection, and that you are the one that carries them through.
[00:39:14] And we ask that you would help them to see the great fruit in their lives, the fruit of your spirit as you change them. The fruit of you at work in their marriages and in their homes and with their children and with those around them.
[00:39:28] And that all of this would be to your glory.
[00:39:32] These things we ask in Jesus name, Amen.
