Episode Transcript
WEBVTT
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Tonight's sermon comes from Ephesians, chapter
six, verse four. We continue going
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through Paul's instructions to to us in
our households and we've considered wives and husband's
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children, and now parents and fathers
are particularly addressed. So, just for
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a little bit of context, I'll
read beginning at verse one of Chapter Six.
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Children, Obey your parents and the
Lord, for this is right.
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Honor Your father and your mother.
This is the first commandment, with a
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promise that it may go well with
you and that you may live long in
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the land. Fathers, do not
provoke your children to anger, but bring
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them up in the discipline and instruction
of the Lord. Amen, please be
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seated. Sometimes, when we hear
God's commands, especially when we hear them
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we read them in scripture for the
first time, it's I find that people,
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and I remember this with myself this
one in particular. anothers here and
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effusions as well. They surprise you
a little bit by their clarity. That's
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so clear. Fathers, do not
provoke your children to anger. You think
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that's a good command. I shouldn't
do that. We shouldn't do that,
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as I've mentioned before, with these
other commands, this one to fathers is
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simple and clear. A simple and
clear statement regarding the will of God.
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Paul tells us, and Ephesians God
tells us through his servant, that we
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are to discern his will, were
to seek after God's will, try to
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understand it. How do you do
that? You study, you memorize,
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you meditate on what he has said, particularly very clear commandments. I'm like
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this one. Fathers, do not
provoke your children to anger, but bring
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them up in the discipline and instruction
of the Lord. So let's spend a
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few moments now with our ears wide
open so that we might in seat,
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receive this instruction from our heavenly father. Well, as I read, Paul
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has previously instructed children to submit to
their parents and the Lord, to honor
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them, to obey them. But, of course, is anyone who has
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ever been under submission to a already
knows, which is every single one of
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us here, it's a lot easier
to honor and obey someone who is honorable
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and someone who is giving good commands. A lot of the difficulties that we
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faced when we are under the authority
of someone is how do we fulfill those
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commands when the person who's an authority
over us is doing a bad job.
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It's really tough and it's something we've
considered when we've considered these other passages in
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effusions and so that every part of
the family might be enriched and instructed.
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God speaks here to parents, to
fathers in particular, as the leaders in
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their home, as those who should
set a good example for their wives and
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children to follow. But in the
same way, though, it does at
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dress fathers in particular. We're right
to include mothers here when they when mothers
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are not exempt from provoking their children
to anger. They do it sometimes and
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should not do it. Ever.
Mothers likewise are called to bring their children
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up in the discipline and instruction of
the Lord. Remember, for example,
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and I'll read the scripture later,
but how Timothy, whom Paul wrote to
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first and Second Timothy, how that
Timothy was blessed by his mother and his
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grandmother teaching him, training him and
in the Lord. With that being said,
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the what specific instructions does Paul Give? Well, the command comes in
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two parts. First, do not
provoke your children to anger. Second,
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bring them up in the discipline and
Instruction of the Lord. Let's take a
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look at each part. Well,
before telling fathers that they should instruct their
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children, he gives them this caution
in command. Do not provoke them to
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anger. In a desire to see
a child do right, parents, and
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perhaps father's in particular, can sometimes
be too strong, too aggressive, not
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gentle enough, even when the motivation
is right, even what they want to
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see is their children successful, doing
well, following after the Lord. Sometimes
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fathers do not use their power,
their authority, their legitimate power, their
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legitimate authority, in a gentle way, and sometimes they do worse than not
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being gentle. They actually go about
provoking their children to anger. This is
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an old problem. It's not something
that's new or Chrysostom says many parents do
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this. That's my big quote.
It's true. It's an all the old
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of them A. Paul addresses it
here. It's a it's something that we
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recognize in our lives. We all
can point to examples from our parents,
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perhaps our fathers in particular, other
people in our lives where they just give
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me a break, he's up a
little bit. It is so hard to
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do this with you. Fathers are
called not to provoke their children to anger.
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What it's helpful to remember is,
though, our earthly fathers are not
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perfect. In fact, they sin. I sin in my fatherhood and in
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many ways. It's important to remember
that. We should never think of our
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heavenly father after our earthly father's image, our dad's, our mom's. They
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fail all the time in all kinds
of ways. We do that as parents,
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and but it's important that we not
attribute the failings that we have to
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God. Remember Psalm one hundred and
thirteen through fourteen. It's relevant here.
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Some one undred three says, as
a father shows compassion to his children,
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so the Lord shows compassion to those
who fear him, for he knows our
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frame. He remembers that we are
dust. See, our heavenly father UN
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takes account of who we are as
heart as his children. We're not just
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machines that he needs to get to
do this way or that way or manipulate
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us into this thing or that thing. He knows US personally, personally,
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deeply. He knows our frame and
he remembers our limitations. Here described as
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that, we are dust. Unfortunately, not all earthly fathers, and I
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include myself in this. Sorry,
kids, not all earthly fathers show this
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kind of compassion. Every father in
this regard sins, sometimes, sometimes a
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lot. The scripture tells us that
our heavenly father is sensitive to our limits,
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to our struggles, to our nature. Paul's telling us that earthly fathers
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must do likewise, especially Christian ones
who call God our father. For example,
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shall we receive mercy from God as
his adopted children and then refuse to
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pass mercy on to our children?
When God, who understands and understands our
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limitations and our weaknesses and our failings
and our struggles, will we not do
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that for our kids? Will we
not take the time to understand that?
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Well, he's tired right now and
maybe I shouldn't make this so difficult,
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or she's sick or having a bad
day. Perhaps I can be a little
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more gentle in my commands and the
things that I'm asking for. How can
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we show them? There's a question
to ask. How can we show them
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our Lord in the way that we
act toward them? How can we demonstrate
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his love for for us as we
love them? So many ways, we
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can be careful not to tease too
much or, worse, to mock them.
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Sometimes fathers use their positions and authority
and power to push their kids to
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the very limits to frustration, to
tears. Does God use his power and
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his might, as awesome as it
is, who ever abuse us? Never,
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even in his correction, even in
his discipline, it's done with a
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warm heart full of compassion. What
do the scriptures say about our God?
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Says that he's slow to anger,
abounding in steadfast love. God doesn't abuse
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his children. He adores them.
He doesn't for broke them to anger,
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he keeps them from it. He
demonstrates this in a thousand ways, and
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earthly fathers who want to demonstrate rate
that love to their children ought to do
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the same. Like God. We
ought to work hard to provide for their
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needs, to slow down and listen
to them, to hear their stories,
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to hear their feelings, to give
them room to cry and to be hurt.
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We can be sensitive to those times
when obedience is hard. We can
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be sensitive to those times when they
need encouragement. Earthly Fathers, you might
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think about it this way. How
many times has God protected you from sin
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by putting you in a situation where
it was easy to do better, where
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it was easy to do right?
Are there ways in which God has set
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up providences in your life that kind
of keep you on the straight and narrow.
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That make it easier, that make
it more enjoyable, that makes things
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pleasurable. If God protects us from
sin, if God watches out for us,
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if God trains us and is gentle
with us in his discipline, we
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ought to do the same and we
should never do as we are forbidden here
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to provoke our children to anger.
The second instruction is that we are to
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bring them up in the discipline and
instruction of the Lord and, as I
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mentioned before, mothers here are also
easily included. Second, Timothy Five Paul
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says to Timothy, I am reminded
of your sincere faith, a faith that
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dwelt first and your grandmother, Lois, and your mother Eunice, and now,
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I am sure, dwells in you. Or perhaps you remember the words
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recorded in proverbs, thirty one proverbs
that were given to King Lemuel by his
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mom. They're in the final chapter
of Wisdom, this final chapter from the
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book of proverbs. This mother speaks
to her son. One of the things
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she tells him is about how to
to the kind of wife that he should
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find, and one of the descriptions
there is this way. She opens her
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mouth with wisdom and teaching of kindness
is on her tongue. Mother's play a
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great and important world and the discipline
and instruction of their children, the discipline
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and Instruction of the Lord, falls
on them. And of course no less
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is expected of father's. Throughout the
proverbs we have a commands given from a
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father to a son. Fathers are
specifically addressed here as well. I might
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remember Deuteronomy six seven, where a
parents are told when you sit in your
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house and when you walk by the
way and when you lie down and when
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you rise, in all of these
times, in all these situations, we
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are to be training and teaching our
children in the Lord. If some fathers
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are too intense, too for USFUL, too strict, others are too passive,
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others simply say, well, you
know, discipline, instruction, it'll
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take care of itself. I can't
really be busied with that right now.
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I'm at work, I'm doing other
things. Some sit back, afraid of
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engaging their children, of being there, of being present, of being available.
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Paul says that this is disallowed.
They are to be active, they
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are to bring them up in the
discipline and instruction of the Lord, as
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we learned throughout the proverbs, and, as we all know from our experience,
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children need instruction, children need reproof. The proverbs described children as those
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who are foolish and immature. Happily, it's not a permanent state. It's
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one that can be grown and and
and and improved. But that's where parents
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are to play this important role in
the lives of their kids. Children need
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to be trained to see and to
be wise. They need to be taught
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the ways of the Lord. How
can you do this? you start by
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learning the ways of God yourself,
and this, of course, begins by
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understanding what faith is. This is
really key. If you miss this point,
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you miss everything. If you walk
out and you say, well,
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here are these ten commandments, I
am going to make sure my kids obey
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them, and you've forgotten about faith, you've forgotten about how the law and
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the Gospel Work Together, then you
will have missed something very important. If
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you want to show your children the
ways of the Lord, you must show
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them that the only way to the
Lord is through faith in Jesus. I
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am the way, he says,
the truth and the life. No one
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comes to the father except through me. So if you desire to fall of
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the Lord's will, to bring your
children up in the discipline and instruction of
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the Lord. You have to ask
yourself, do I know what it means
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to be a child of the heavenly
father, to pray the Lord's prayer as
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a faught, as a child and
always as a child, to never outgrow
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saying our father is in heaven?
Do you know what it means to look
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to him for all things, to
seek his will, to seek his life,
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to know him, to find his
forgiveness, and to do all of
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that through faith in Christ, whom
our father has given and to us that
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we might be united to him and
know him and be loved by him.
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How do you do this? How
do you bring your children up in the
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discipline and Instruction in the Lord?
But begins by knowing the Gospel, knowing
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who your heavenly father is and how
you know him and why you can trust
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him and all the good news that
comes to us in his word. Do
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you know that you belong to God
out of his pure grace and not by
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your works? Do you know that
the inheritance that he gives to you is
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not dependent upon the things that you
do, but it's dependent entirely on his
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steadfast love, which is from all
eternity. Do you know that you have
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been forgiven of all your sins and
washed clean as white of the snow?
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Do you know the love with which
you have been loved is all free from
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him? Do you understand how the
law destroys a person? Apart from this,
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not that the law is sinful in
and of itself, but that sinful
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nature re acts very badly when it
comes into contact with the law. That
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if, all that. If,
when we hear that, when we hear
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the law and there's no hope in
us, there's no forgiveness, there's no
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relationship with Christ, we simply recede
into the darkness and do more evil that
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we come under its condemnation and it's
slavery. But through faith in Christ we
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are taught that the law is fulfilled
on our behalf and that then it becomes
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our joy to fulfill the commandments of
God, because we know God is fulfilling
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them in us. The yoke of
the Lord is easy, is burden is
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light. The Commands of the Lord, the Law of the Lord, David
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says, it's like the dripping of
honey on his tongue. HMM, so
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sweet to know the law of God
how can you say that? Well,
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the Christian can say that the one
who has been rescued from it by the
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obedience of Christ and lifted into the
freedom of it. They might do good
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works, not for their justification but
as proof that God is working in them.
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They this is where you have to
start if you're going to bring your
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kids up in the discipline and instruction
of the Lord, because without that it's
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you would give them the law of
the Lord, but not closeness with the
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Lord, not communion with the Lord, only his wrath. If you don't
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start here, if somehow you are
able to manage to get your kids to
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fall in line with every good commandment, but that they learn to do it
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apart from faith, apart from humility, apart from the wonder of the God
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who saved them, then you really
done no good thing. The world will
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applaud and be impressed and will say, wow, your kids are amazing,
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look how obedient they are, look
how submissive they are, but you will
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ultimately have raised nothing but proud pharisees. And you know what Jesus says about
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Pharisees. But if you start with
the Gospel, if you start with Christ,
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if you start with the hope that
he gives us. Then one you
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have room to be forgiven of your
own fatherly faults and to go before the
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Lord as a child and say I'm
doing a bad job as a dad,
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please help me, please save me. But then we can go to our
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children in that same spirit and teach
them what it means to repent, to
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teach them what it means to trust
in Christ, not just because you're sorry,
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but because you trust him to forgive, you trust him to help and
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that he will give you the very
gifts of Heaven. I say start here
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by knowing these things yourself, but
don't take that to mean that you have
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to have it all figured out before
you start. Of course you'll never begin
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and you'll miss the point. Our
justification is not about figuring it all out
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before we start and come to God
and say I've got it all figured out.
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Our justification in Christ is knowing that
we were saved while we were yet
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sinners. Our justification is being made
perfect in him before we are perfect.
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So to walk is a Christian father
or mother, it means to walk with
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your children today in the Lord in
faith. It means going with them to
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the scriptures, praying not just for
them but with them, not just bringing
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them to worship, but worshiping with
them, singing with them, repenting,
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with them, confessing, loving,
serving together. Want to get really practical.
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On the Lord's Day, worship with
them in the House of the Lord.
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On other days, every day you
possibly can, bring them to the
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scriptures and read and pray, teach
them to find Jesus in all these places,
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these places where he shows himself.
And if you find yourself lacking in
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these things, which I certainly do, if you find yourself having a memories
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of dark moments, things you wish
you could take back, word you wish
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you could back in your mouth,
if you find that you need guidance and
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strength and perseverance, then look to
your heavenly father through the promise of Christ,
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and then, in the power of
the spirit who is in you,
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ask your Tryune God for all that
you need. Which one of you,
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if his son asks him for a
bread, will give him a stone,
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or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? Jesus
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says, if then you, who
are evil, know how to give good
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gifts to your children, how much
more will your father, who is in
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heaven, give good things to those
who ask him. Let's pray
